Is God punishing me??
This is a difficult topic, especially as a believer of Jesus Christ. We all know that God doesn’t “punish us” but sometimes you can feel like that. I have to be honest and say that there were times during this autism journey that I thought that I was being punished by God several times. There were times in our journey that I saw no progress in fact I saw regression instead. Before Jayson was diagnosed, he was saying a few words and then all of a sudden the words just stopped. He wasn’t saying anything. His behavior became even more evident that something was wrong.
I remember this day as if it was yesterday. I was with one of my client’s in the library and I began thinking about what Jayson was going through. I mean imagine, you want to say something and yet you are not able to. I sat in the corner of that library and wept like a baby. In that moment I wondered if God was punishing me. What did I or his father do wrong to deserve this? Whether you are like me and questioned God if He was punishing you, or if you are angry at God because of what is going on with your child, I get it. I completely understand and I have been there.
God’s purpose
BUT…. our God is not one to punish those who seek and serve Him, He has a purpose for everything under the sun. Most of us have heard about the story in John 9 where Jesus encounter’s the young man who was blind from birth. The disciples ask “why was this man born blind? Was it because of his own sins or his parents’ sin?” Jesus responds, “it was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins…This happened so the power of God could be seen in him.” Wow! In those moments of doubt, anger, frustration, questioning, please be encouraged that you, the other parent, or even your child did not do ANYTHING to “cause” autism. God has a purpose for everything and in His time, His power will surely show. So yes, go through the emotions, break down if you need to (make sure to continue with the interventions) but know this truth, God loves you and He will always work things out for your good!
Love you all,
God bless you!