Sibling perspective
Being an autism mom has been a journey of ups and downs. There were times in this journey that I honestly didn’t know my left from my right. One particular area that I struggled with was how to be available to all of my children equally. Let’s be honest, having a special needs child is challenging not just from my perspective but from the other children’s perspective.
Jayson is the last of three siblings. He has an older brother, who immigrated to the United States when he was 16 years of age, and an older sister who at the time of Jayson’s diagnosis was 3 ½ years old. Explaining Jayson’s diagnosis to his older brother was fairly easy and he adapted fairly quickly. On the other hand, to Emma, now that was a challenge. The time and attention that I gave Jayson, which he needed, meant to her that I loved Jayson more than her and till today, I still struggle with this a little. I knew I had to find a way to incorporate her into Jayson’s daily activities so she didn’t feel as though I was neglecting her. I explained to her that Jayson had a different way of learning and needed more people to teach him. I told her I wanted her to be his number one teacher. You should have seen the light in her eyes; she felt so empowered.
She literally took on the role as Jayson’s teacher.
Everything she learned in school, she wanted Jayson to learn. She helped to make his sensory bowls, she would help in prompting him to use his words, she would calm him down during his moments of frustrations. She did and continues to do so much for her younger brother. I was also so grateful that Emma also got her alone time when she went on weekend trips with her aunt, my younger sister. We also made mommy-daughter time during Jayson’s ABA sessions. I know it is difficult for the other children in the household but I encourage you to empower them with tools/strategies to become part of the journey. This will keep the love balanced and keep envy, resentment and jealousy at bay.
Love you all,
God bless you!